Saturday, 17 February 2018

CLOWN (2014)

I hadn't heard anything about this film but bought it on a pure punt. Upon settling in for the night and loading this one up in the DVD player I noticed it was directed by Eli Roth ... from the start you could tell this was going to be a great ride.

The plot centres in on a family who are holding a birthday party for their son (who appears to be about 6-8 years old) and the clown they hired doesn't show up. By some bizzare co-incidence the father, A real estate agent named Kent, finds a clown suit in a house he has up for sale and decides to fill in for the clown. Kent does an awesome job (considering he's never been a clown before) and the party is a hit with the kids......... only problem is he can't get the clown suit off.

Kent can feel himself starting to change and does some research on the suit and tracks down its former owner who informs him it was worn by an old demon the "Cloyne" ... from which the idea of a clown is supposed to have originated. Kent can feel the hunger inside of him growing into bloodlust he cannot control and starts to crave the flesh of children as per the old owner of the suit

That's about as far as I'll go with the plot for fear of ruining it but as with anything Eli Roth is involved in its a gripping and entertaining ride, and the horror is realistically grim. Roth takes what is a supernatural theme and makes it quite believeable for the duration of the film which I think is the hallmark of a master of the genre

I thought it was  a great film and would fully recommend it to anyone ,,, except those who have a fear of clowns, it could traumatise them for life!

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Thursday, 1 February 2018

BATHORY (2008)

This is one film I had been looking for, for a while now and I was glad to finally get my hands on it... This film follows the life and trials of Elizabeth Bathory the fabled countess of Hungary, who reportedly bathed in the blood of virgins to preserve her body against the ravages of age. This film does take a different take on the popularly accepted version of events, and portrays a much more human take on the countess.

I have to commend the makers of the film for delivering what is an absolutely magnificent film, immaculately costumed and shot and authentic sounding dialogue... The attention to detail is just awe inspiring. I can't help wondering if this film cost half the GDP of Hungary ($15 million USD I later found out to be the most expensive Hungarian piece of cinema ever produced but in alliance with the UK / Slovakia / Czech Republic I should add) , but either way they've done an amazing job of bringing the movie to life

The movie itself sits somewhere between a drama, period piece and with a fair sprinkling of violence and blood it will appeal to horror fans as well, but I think this is definitely one film that has a universal appeal... Featuring no actors I'd ever heard of before, there is nothing to distract from the realism of the film. Anna Friel as the Countess is perfectly cast and beautiful to watch, and really gives the countess a life and sexyness and vunerability  that I'd never associated with the character she plays so perfectly

The film itself is a hefty affair and goes for well over 2 hours and spans the entire adult life of the countess in fair detail, from a young countess to an older countess who appears to be physically untouched by the ravages of inevitable ageing. Its a great watch and though some might consider it overkill to some degree it is quite engrossing the whole way through... For my money it had a vibe similar to that of the English Hammer films (like Witchfinder General) or even the Francis Ford Copolla version of Bram Stokers Dracula.

I can't recommend this enough for anyone who is thinking of watching this one

For more great horror movies be sure to check out

Monday, 29 January 2018

Vampyres (1974)

As a vampire film this doesn't particularly stand out.... There are many better than this one. As pornography it doesn't really stand out either.......... but when you mix soft porn and vampires into one film you have a formula for success that is hard to beat.

In all seriousness this barely even qualifies as soft porn,  its a rather thin plot that revolves around  couple of rather attractive lesbian vampires that lure men into their web/home and proceed to suck out their souls. I get the horror involved but unfortunately part of me (well one part in particular) feels a little jealous of these guys........ What a way to die! PICK ME NEXT!!!

Some rather attractive babes from the 70s star in this one from a time when girls on film had natural knockers and pubic hair, It kind of has that Hammer film vibe but also that Roger Myers exploitational vibe as well......... It's well shot ... But with all those giant natural knockers from the 70's floating around its kind of hard to focus, so maybe it wasn't ...........  who knows really

Basically if you're male (or female) fan of boobs and vampires this is pretty cool, just don't expect to come out any smarter for having watched it.

For more great horror movies and reviews be sure to check out

Also its on Youtube! so check it out below!

Saturday, 13 January 2018


The premise of the haunted / possessed house is hardly new and has been a long standing staple of the horror genre, but I have to say this is one of the better ones (along with Poltergeist)  and stars a very young and attractive Margot Kidder from the Superman film as Kathy a the mother of 3 who along with her new husband, George buy a house that was previously the venue for an entire family being slaughtered in rather mysterious circumstances

Of course the family get a great deal from their real estate agent and decide to move into the house.... It starts off great but within days the family start turning against each other against a back drop of bizzare occurrences... none of which point immediately towards the supernatural but when put together test patience and nerves of the father, and start tearing the family apart bit by bit.

After consulting with medium friend of George's it is ascertained the house resides on a burial ground of some sort and there is definitely something bizzare going on and the previously the house was occupied by a satanist.... either way the energy
surrounding the house hasn't dissapated or moved on and is still angry

The film itself doesn't have a lot of blood or gore but is a rather well written and shot piece which captivates the viewer without having to resort to this stuff. I really loved watching this film and can't believe I got so far into my adult life without having watched it before. Id say it would appeal to the same crowd that liked watching Rosemary's Baby, or it could be compared to a less explicit version of the Exorcist or the Omen, with dark religious imagery setting the scene for what is a genuinely engrossing film

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