Saturday, 17 February 2018

CLOWN (2014)

I hadn't heard anything about this film but bought it on a pure punt. Upon settling in for the night and loading this one up in the DVD player I noticed it was directed by Eli Roth ... from the start you could tell this was going to be a great ride.

The plot centres in on a family who are holding a birthday party for their son (who appears to be about 6-8 years old) and the clown they hired doesn't show up. By some bizzare co-incidence the father, A real estate agent named Kent, finds a clown suit in a house he has up for sale and decides to fill in for the clown. Kent does an awesome job (considering he's never been a clown before) and the party is a hit with the kids......... only problem is he can't get the clown suit off.

Kent can feel himself starting to change and does some research on the suit and tracks down its former owner who informs him it was worn by an old demon the "Cloyne" ... from which the idea of a clown is supposed to have originated. Kent can feel the hunger inside of him growing into bloodlust he cannot control and starts to crave the flesh of children as per the old owner of the suit

That's about as far as I'll go with the plot for fear of ruining it but as with anything Eli Roth is involved in its a gripping and entertaining ride, and the horror is realistically grim. Roth takes what is a supernatural theme and makes it quite believeable for the duration of the film which I think is the hallmark of a master of the genre

I thought it was  a great film and would fully recommend it to anyone ,,, except those who have a fear of clowns, it could traumatise them for life!

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Thursday, 1 February 2018

BATHORY (2008)

This is one film I had been looking for, for a while now and I was glad to finally get my hands on it... This film follows the life and trials of Elizabeth Bathory the fabled countess of Hungary, who reportedly bathed in the blood of virgins to preserve her body against the ravages of age. This film does take a different take on the popularly accepted version of events, and portrays a much more human take on the countess.

I have to commend the makers of the film for delivering what is an absolutely magnificent film, immaculately costumed and shot and authentic sounding dialogue... The attention to detail is just awe inspiring. I can't help wondering if this film cost half the GDP of Hungary ($15 million USD I later found out to be the most expensive Hungarian piece of cinema ever produced but in alliance with the UK / Slovakia / Czech Republic I should add) , but either way they've done an amazing job of bringing the movie to life

The movie itself sits somewhere between a drama, period piece and with a fair sprinkling of violence and blood it will appeal to horror fans as well, but I think this is definitely one film that has a universal appeal... Featuring no actors I'd ever heard of before, there is nothing to distract from the realism of the film. Anna Friel as the Countess is perfectly cast and beautiful to watch, and really gives the countess a life and sexyness and vunerability  that I'd never associated with the character she plays so perfectly

The film itself is a hefty affair and goes for well over 2 hours and spans the entire adult life of the countess in fair detail, from a young countess to an older countess who appears to be physically untouched by the ravages of inevitable ageing. Its a great watch and though some might consider it overkill to some degree it is quite engrossing the whole way through... For my money it had a vibe similar to that of the English Hammer films (like Witchfinder General) or even the Francis Ford Copolla version of Bram Stokers Dracula.

I can't recommend this enough for anyone who is thinking of watching this one

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Monday, 29 January 2018

Vampyres (1974)

As a vampire film this doesn't particularly stand out.... There are many better than this one. As pornography it doesn't really stand out either.......... but when you mix soft porn and vampires into one film you have a formula for success that is hard to beat.

In all seriousness this barely even qualifies as soft porn,  its a rather thin plot that revolves around  couple of rather attractive lesbian vampires that lure men into their web/home and proceed to suck out their souls. I get the horror involved but unfortunately part of me (well one part in particular) feels a little jealous of these guys........ What a way to die! PICK ME NEXT!!!

Some rather attractive babes from the 70s star in this one from a time when girls on film had natural knockers and pubic hair, It kind of has that Hammer film vibe but also that Roger Myers exploitational vibe as well......... It's well shot ... But with all those giant natural knockers from the 70's floating around its kind of hard to focus, so maybe it wasn't ...........  who knows really

Basically if you're male (or female) fan of boobs and vampires this is pretty cool, just don't expect to come out any smarter for having watched it.

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Also its on Youtube! so check it out below!

Saturday, 13 January 2018


The premise of the haunted / possessed house is hardly new and has been a long standing staple of the horror genre, but I have to say this is one of the better ones (along with Poltergeist)  and stars a very young and attractive Margot Kidder from the Superman film as Kathy a the mother of 3 who along with her new husband, George buy a house that was previously the venue for an entire family being slaughtered in rather mysterious circumstances

Of course the family get a great deal from their real estate agent and decide to move into the house.... It starts off great but within days the family start turning against each other against a back drop of bizzare occurrences... none of which point immediately towards the supernatural but when put together test patience and nerves of the father, and start tearing the family apart bit by bit.

After consulting with medium friend of George's it is ascertained the house resides on a burial ground of some sort and there is definitely something bizzare going on and the previously the house was occupied by a satanist.... either way the energy
surrounding the house hasn't dissapated or moved on and is still angry

The film itself doesn't have a lot of blood or gore but is a rather well written and shot piece which captivates the viewer without having to resort to this stuff. I really loved watching this film and can't believe I got so far into my adult life without having watched it before. Id say it would appeal to the same crowd that liked watching Rosemary's Baby, or it could be compared to a less explicit version of the Exorcist or the Omen, with dark religious imagery setting the scene for what is a genuinely engrossing film

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Sunday, 24 December 2017

AUTOPSY (2008)

This was not a bad little surprise, another of my chance findings in a second hand shop I was not holding out huge hopes for this one but it delivered the goods quite well!

Basically the plot centres around a group of 5 teenagers who are driving through a poorly lit forest and get into an accident,to make things worse somehow they've hit and badly injured an innocent man in the process. After calling for help (I assume the hospital staff have police scanners or something to intercept the call) staff from the mercy hospital arrive to pick up the man and offer the rest of them a ride to the hospital.

This is where it gets strange the hospital is staffed by a small crew of psychotics who use the inbound victims in bizzare experiments some of which are used to return the wife of the head of hospital back to health.... The plots fairly simple and the movie is quite well executed so its fairly enjoyable right the way though.... the only complaint (and its not a huge complaint) is that some of the shots seem over or under/exposed which is really the only give away that this would have been a low budget independent release. The gore and horror scenes look great with one particularly creative autopsy scene

Over all it's not an all time classic but defs worth a watch once if you're at a loose end and its quite enjoyable its also available to rent on youtube as well, rather than pay out huge on importing the DVD if you're not as lucky as I was to find it second hand

Saturday, 9 December 2017


After the general failure to the Exorcist 2 (I didn't think it was that bad.... it just wasn't that good) I held minimal hopes for this one, but upon loading this bad boy up, the opening scene of the priest amidst a back drop of crusaders crucified upside down I knew this one would be good.

Exorcist: The Beginning is set a few years after the Nazi occupation so lets say around 1950 around 25 years before the events of the original Exorcist film, when a much younger father Merrin has lost faith and left the priest hood to go on an archaeological dig in Africa to figure out what's going on with an unknown church that has been discovered. He settles in with the locals both a priest, Father Francis, the local Africans and tribesman, and even strikes up a friendship with a pretty young archaeologist, Sarah. Things start to get weird around the camp when he is able to enter the church and it appears to be a shrine to Lucifer the fallen angel.

This is where I have to commend the creatives behind this film... If you are into the occult or religious studies this follows the mythology of the fall from the heavens of the warrior angels who rebelled against God quite well... the religious (anti religious) symbolism is used excellently throughout the film and really adds an atmosphere of the arcane to proceedings

Nobody knows who built the church but father Merrin works out it is built on the spot where the rebel angels are said to have fallen to Earth after the battle that got them kicked out of heaven.  Instead of leaving it alone (like the natives suggested) curiousity gets the better of them and they unleash an ancient evil upon the camp and unsuspecting victims and Father Merrin is called upon to use the ancient roman ritual of the Exorcism

I wouldn't go so far as to say this is as good as the original Exorcist film but its a worthy sequel (unlike Exorcist 2) and lends an interesting background to the origins of both Fr. Merrin and the evil entity, Pazuzu that possesses Reagan in the first film, I found it kept my interest the whole way through the film and it was a gripping watch that stimulated me intellectually as well.

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Saturday, 2 December 2017


This is an interesting one for many reasons (also not to be confused with another film called "unfriended") ,,, as a film its well made and rather watchable so no issues with the entertainment value of the film... but another darker more sinister reason that it touches the listener is that it exploits a medium that nearly all of us use, Facebook.... or social media in general...

The film revolves around Laura who seems to be generally winning at life and doing well at school, she's good looking, has a wide circle of friends both online and offline and ends up accepting a friend request from a strange loner, Marina she knows from university

Their new found "friendship" develops into obsession for the new friend and soon its clear that she's mentally unbalanced and Laura wonders how she can get rid of her new friend without it backfiring on her...... Of course Marina takes the rejection harshly and kills herself which she records and sends it onto Laura via facebook

This is where things start getting weird, for some reason a wave of suicides happen at the school and although Marina is dead someone hacks the facebook accounts of Laura and her flatmates and posts the grizzly deaths onto their social media accounts as a revenge, Laura's friend count starts to tumble as people see the morbid videos posted to her timeline and online as well as in real life, Laura finds herself and her friends being stalked from beyond the cyber graveyard by Marina

Overall I have to say I quite liked this one, wouldn't say its a classic but its a solid and engrossing watch and kept my interest the whole way through. While it does have its fair share of killings and blood the film sits fairly firmly in the thriller category and as a film should have an almost universal appeal to users of the internet and social media.

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